She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
