you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
