Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize