that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
