So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
