So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
