I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
