I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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