glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize