Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize