i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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