y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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