As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
