do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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