well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
