Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
