I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
