nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
