Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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