She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
