im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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