Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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