she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
