I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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