is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
