I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
