you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
