i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ketchup is God's man juice
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize