dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
