the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
