i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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