That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
