Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
NoShamevember. You game?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
