We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Are my feet made of real feet?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
