if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
me + whiskey = a bad person
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
