I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
