oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
