she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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