good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
