I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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