Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
