I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize