3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
