My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
