I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
