absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
