the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
