I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
