4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I party with great urgency now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
