She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
