Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
