Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
