Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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