Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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