Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
