just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
