eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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