wrigley field is MILF paradise
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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