Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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