Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So squirting runs in the family.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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